im blogging ! after so long ya... hmm this is the last post im posting after this i think i will close down my blog liao... doesnt really feel like blogging... ya... wad im going say is how i feel... right now... i dont care if u read it or anyone read it and thinks tat im a loser... cos i am a loser... im a total loser... i know it all doesnt feel the same as b4 anymore... but wad i wan was a new love... not a renewed love... and i know wad u wan is the feeling u had wif me b4... but its impossible... things have change and so have i... things aint like 1 + 1 = 2 anymore... its much much more complicated... it totally feel like karma... but thinking bak... is it really too late when i change my way of treating u ?? tat was when i knew i dont wanna u to leave... but is everything really tat late ?? i asked u... and u say yes... it totally break my heart... even if the wound has healed but the scar is still thr... idk whether is it right when u contacted me back in the first place... the things ive been missing... was jus missing when u didnt contact me back... but after u contacted me all those things ive been missing im trying to get it back... im not blaming anyone... i bought this to myself... i knew i was going to end up bleeding again... but i choose to do it... y ?? idk i really duno... i dun care if u or anyone see this and think im a loser... cos ive lost... ive lost everything tat was once meaninful to me... this is the first time i bold enuf to bring myself writing this on blog... its super wordly and i doubt ppl will read it... but i really need someone to talk to... i really need someone to accompany... nv in my life have i felt so lonely... i took the chance to return to how it was before... but its all too late... it can only be our memories... but i dont wan this memories... if i have to choose i will choose to forget... have i took the chance to get myself hurt again ?? u said.. its because he's not here tats all... but am i too naive to think tat we can get back tgt ?? have i been trying to fix something tat is meant to be broken all along... i miss u... i miss ur hugs... i miss ur kisses... and i miss u calling me baby and telling me tat u love me... but things jus aint right... for u... and mayb for me... but after u told me all those things tat i dun wan to hear... i finally knew... its really time to let go the things ive been clinging on... and im still clinging on to it right now... cos i really duno how to let go... i really duno wad to do in weekend when i book out and i cant meet u up... i really miss holding ur hand and go for shopping... and my tears is on the verge of coming out... and i really dunno wad to do now... all i can say is... let nature take its course... and im really really tired... yes ? tired jiu let go lar... i know u will say this... but i really dunno how... i really dunno... i decided to write this down is because i wan u to know... and i really need something to write down how i feel all along... last of all i dun care who or what for how they say me... and this is how i feel... all along... how i wish... time could rewind... lastly... my blog song... for u...